Eatin Communion with Old Bill

I ran into Thor at the cop shop, he wasn’t in the mood for talk. So I went and go have coffee alone.

It was nice and hot and quiet, having coffee alone. I should go more often I thought. That I don’t go more often is a big shame and I should be punished. But alas, I wait in back yard with stick for hours and there is no punishment.

Oh life… no one ever come!

And I am sad suddenly. It all feels so goddamn sad – perhaps it is the autumn dusk. Whatever it is, it makes me feel very alone… and sad.

Life is strange… earlier I was happy at being alone and now I’m not, I’m sad. Sometimes I get all weird and worried that the sadness will swallow me up whole and last forever, that’s funny because I sure do wish that the happiness would swallow me and last forever. Just eat me up and toss me into its huge happy cookie eating mouth and crush me into some wild laughing bliss. It never does… no matter how much I beg and pray and no matter how good I am.

But one thing is for certain. Life would seem to have me in its old jaws and it just kinda tests and prods me with its rock like teeth and curious tongue. I can't really say if its good head or bad head, but more kinda like a distracted head – like its just sucking away at me slowly while it reads the train schedule or tries to remember just what it was that it wanted from the store.

Some may find all of this rather melon collie, but I find it strangley quite exuberant. I have no clue as to what will happen next. Will life crush me with its teeth or spit me out on the street. Will it make out on the dance floor like a couple of faux lesbians, or choke on the minty freshness.

The real unknowing in all of this makes me feel a little giddy and so fucking alive.