Gems from Gerald Ford's personal diary

“ I don’t know if you’ve ever seen a human heart, the muffler salesman slurred, but its no bigger than them there $5 dollar margaritas they sell at Applebees.”

Later on I mused that perhaps my heart, is in fact nothing but a $5 margarita.

Lime, on the rocks, with salt on the rim.

Does the pope shit in the woods?!!

If yer lucky and ya keep showing up - sooner or later the pope will wander outta the back door of the Vatican – on thru the parking lot – past all the tail gaiters and retards, a barbequeing & a see-sawing – he'll wander off into the fields and into the woods... lost and content... and all will be peaceful.

that is until the bears get a wiff of him

And then the real communion will begin.