Monday, November 20, 2006

Eatin Communion with Old Bill


I ran into Thor at the cop shop, he wasn’t in the mood for talk. So I went and go have coffee alone.

It was nice and hot and quiet, having coffee alone. I should go more often I thought. That I don’t go more often is a big shame and I should be punished. But alas, I wait in back yard with stick for hours and there is no punishment.

Oh life… no one ever come!

And I am sad suddenly. It all feels so goddamn sad – perhaps it is the autumn dusk. Whatever it is, it makes me feel very alone… and sad.

Life is strange… earlier I was happy at being alone and now I’m not, I’m sad. Sometimes I get all weird and worried that the sadness will swallow me up whole and last forever, that’s funny because I sure do wish that the happiness would swallow me and last forever. Just eat me up and toss me into its huge happy cookie eating mouth and crush me into some wild laughing bliss. It never does… no matter how much I beg and pray and no matter how good I am.

But one thing is for certain. Life would seem to have me in its old jaws and it just kinda tests and prods me with its rock like teeth and curious tongue. I can't really say if its good head or bad head, but more kinda like a distracted head – like its just sucking away at me slowly while it reads the train schedule or tries to remember just what it was that it wanted from the store.

Some may find all of this rather melon collie, but I find it strangley quite exuberant. I have no clue as to what will happen next. Will life crush me with its teeth or spit me out on the street. Will it make out on the dance floor like a couple of faux lesbians, or choke on the minty freshness.

The real unknowing in all of this makes me feel a little giddy and so fucking alive.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Serious Clowns


There can be a simple wonderful devastation in sitting around and watching old people.

Some look just like little kids whose grown up costume has broken.
They seem a bit worried at first that someone may notice.
Defensive and perhaps a bit scared
Others of course… are no longer that concerned.
And its fucking gourgeous!
openly childlike… their costume is mostly eroded.
Only the colors of dissolved streamers and tangles of tinsel clinging here and there.
Crazy wigs with bits of confetti
They almost look like full blown clowns!
Wild makeup and funny hats!
wonder and amazement
at the coming and going
walking - almost a kinda labored waltzing
to some strange music
could almost look like fun.

Dragging around a decaying body
Those you have loved and known
dead or dying of various ailments
Being completely useless
perhaps being a burden

Life is funny
You shit your pants in the beginning
You shit your pants in the end
And in between?

All of this shit can become very very serious.

My prayer for you dear friend is that you don't get to concerned on sorting out the shit from fertilizer...
cuz that would be true madness

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Ramblin' Election Day Blues


"The house is haunted!" yelled an old drunk, pointing at his head, pointing at the sky.
But we all just kept scurrying on by, off to work.
"He's right ya know." I half whisper to a little girl, whose riding a pony on the elavator.
She just smiled, humming her song and offered me a swig of root beer. "Well this is my floor!" she smiled. Handing me the bottle. The doors opened and she and the pony galloped out into a roaring hail of gunfire.
I turned away and the doors closed behind her. Quiet except for the sound of Kenny G sucking for eternity
I wonder if I should buy a new pair of shoes... I thought aloud, sipping the warm sweet sassparilla.
On the next floor a kitten got on and sat opposite of me and stared directly a foot or 2 above my head. "Well hello little kitten!" I chuckled - her little gaze was unbroken.
We reached the next floor and she padded out into a smartly furnished reception area.
The doors closed and I mumbled to Kenny G, "Wonder how she pushes the buttons..."
"Maybe she doesn't." said Kenny G.

Weekly youtube GEM!

Sluggo + Alan Watts + old hawaiian music = Joy!