Thursday, March 10, 2005

Rabbits


I was happy:) and then I was sad:(
I was being torn apart by the polar opposites of emo and cynism. so I became a absurd lie poking fun at me own heart and of course we all know that hearts don't like jokes. they are always serious and so sad and beautiful with pretty mussed up hair!
so I made fun of everything until nothing real and deep existed. Then I created my own universe to see if anyone or thing could come up with a solution. Of course the sex was pretty hot and the drugs were delicious, but the old age and death still sucked and so did the shallow smooth pretty ego freaks and the wise were all old & wrinkly and the funny were all outta control or scared the normal were still all to drugged or distracted to do anything but bitch!
So I kept coming back to square one, you know the really simple and elagant one that says "WHATS THE FUCKING POINT?!!!"

"Funny you should ask?!!" says a cartoon rabbit, who suddenly appears from nowhere. Hes holding a huge joint in one hand and a even huger gun in the other (.44 magnum, crome with the 12 inch barrel:)
"Whats with the gun?" I nervously venture
"You gotta light?" he purrs as he hands me the gun and I hand him a lighter "Well' he puffs 'Seems like you've read to many damn books and ya got to many answers and other peoples stories in yer head. So I'm here to clear some shit out! Smart guy!"
"Oh yeah?!!!' I say ' Please tell me what is it?"

"I aint here to give you more answers bucko.' he chuckles, 'but I will leave you with this... YOU CAN'T MAKE LOVE AND WRITE A BOOK AT THE SAME TIME!"

"What the hell does that mean? Like I ever tried to..."ITS A METAPHOR DUMB ASS! SUCK ON IT! DON'T THINK! YOU'LL KNOW IT, WHEN YOU ARE IT!"
"Are you gonna talk in caps the whole time?" I smile
"ha-ha. I'm not hear to be your friend, slap-nuts' he says quietly as he hands me the joint. 'AND NOW I WANT YOU TO KILL ME!"
"Who the fuck you talking to?" I say turning in a circle
"YOUR THE ONE WITH A GUN IN YOUR HAND." says the rabbit.
"You gave it to me." I protest "Its your gun." levels the rabbit.
And he's right.
"NOW SHOOT ME!"
"whaaa? why would I? I couldn't."
"Its a dream,Dum-Dum, SHOOT ME!"
So I took a toke and exhaling I squeezed off a round into his pretty blue expectant cartoon eyes. I was suprised at the loud noise and scared when he screamed and cried and died in my arms sobbing. It felt like my heart was breaking - like I was being torn into a million pieces... but then all the pieces turned into real rabbits and hopped away in a million directions.
Then I stand up... and I'm a green field and the dawn is breaking - the birds song and fragrant crisp breeze blows right thru me.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Slaming

I've started doing poetry slams - It seems important to me in some way for me to stand up in front of a bunch of people and try and talk about the shit we never talk about or the shit that we are all too cynical and cool or smart to talk about - you know love and death ect. I've only done a couple and I've gotten my ass kicked!!! I went to some Barnes and Noble to a poetry reading and it was 10 really old people sitting in a circle reading poems - The slam I go to is at a cool ass bar called Dada's you get on a mic in front of the whole bar (30-40 people maybe) and there are speakers for the folks sitting outside - needless to say I was pretty fucking nervous my first time - I guess I gotta memorize and maybe do that slam kinda rhyming rhythm thing - I dunno - I don't just wanna perform - I can do that - shit I've done that my whole life - I would like to do something real - I think maybe I'll do what they do only with my own stuff and then kick thier ass! hahaha then I'll take it apart and explore from there - ala Coltrane
anyway its about as much fun as a 30 something working class stiff can have on a tuesday night - basically its hard and I'm not that good at it - and thats good stuff for me I've found
keep on keeping on people!

Weekly youtube GEM!

Sluggo + Alan Watts + old hawaiian music = Joy!