Someday I will meet a nice girl on Yahoo personals and we will go to Starbucks, Applebees, and to the AMC movie theatre. We will look into each others eyes and forget everything.
She will take me shopping for a new wardrobe at the Old Navy and suggest Trojan condoms and we will melt into one as radiant bliss!
We will get HAPPILY married and have our wedding registry at Macy's. We will honeymoon in Venice, which after years of neglect was subsumed by the ocean. The name was consequently bought by Disney and a exact replica was built several miles away. We will buy a Honda and our baby will be sponsored by Google's baby name search and our house will be finaced by Bank of America.
I will catch my wife spoon feeding a Re/Max real estate agent a Oreo Blizzard from Dairy Queen and I shoot them both with a Remington Shotgun. I will douse our house with Shell gasoline while sobbing uncontrollably and drinking Jack Daniel's whiskey. Someone will read my fantastic blog, (sponsored by google) and make a movie based on these wild beautiful sad accounts and everyone will see it, much to the thrill of Warner Bros.
Everyone will all know in their hearts, But only realize after it is mentioned by an AP writer for USA today, that if only I had thought globaly and acted localy... perhaps this whole tragic existence coulda been adverted.
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