Abandon

I've been hypnotized by tantalizing glimples
that have magicaly been turned into a dream
a dream of what life could and should be.

I think I was born with it
and it fucking taunts me
every step of the goddamn way!

OK!!! I'm ready for it to fucking happen!
I'm ready for my inheritence!
I'm ready to finaly open up and be!
and to let life & love all run ripshod on through me
with women dancing abandoned
to mind blowing music...
a music that my heart has always known.

I wonder if Christ had the same knawing delusions
as he hung on a piece of wood in his tore up dirty undies
a muddy hile in some vacant lot
surounded by a few assholes and some cops
his friends all done run off
momma crying and a girl he didn't have the guts to love
...abandoning them again
just as God had abondoned him


dying the worst death immaginable...
a failed life
a heart falling short of its aim
nothing he could do

wonder if he knew that millions would be slaughtered in his name?
and if he did - why not just keep turning the water into wine
and kiss the girl?
the son of God and what a shitty life...
what a fucking loser
just like me

maybe he had no choice or power to change a thing?

but don't take anyones word for it.
least of all mine
just go on ahead and hop in and go where you wanna go!
but when the car goes left...
no matter how hard you crank the wheel to the right...
when you slide over the edge
into the wreck of existence
know that this is a free ride
and you were born into it
you've got no control

The steering wheel
steers nothing but your delusions.

ya might as well sit back and relax
like that fat boy sitting under the tree
or that jew nailed to it
you can scream or be silent
you can chant mantras, meditate or pass out
it don't matter

there aint no one to hear you in any way
but everything
we all die alone.
All is abandon
there is no thing...

fuuuuck
and this don't mean a thing
until it is.

when you go over the edge
the edge that is always right here
you know, the inevitable edge?!
when God abandons you
when you abandon you & the dream of life-n-love
who knows...
who is left?

see what happens...
live in this abandon
and find out

Who are you?