Got you all in check

So I was driving to work this morning and a giant red bus passed me in the HOV lane. It wasn't until it passed that I realized and saw that it was Busta Rymes tour bus. as traffic would have it I was next to Busta's tour bus for a good 5 minutes - I found myself fantasizing that Busta himself was looking out the window at the morning rush hour traffic. And upon spotting me he would of course enjoy a laugh or two with one of his buddies about this sorry ass looking white dude in the beat up saturn wagon on his way to some lame ass job. I fantasized even futher, dreaming that perhaps Mr. Rymes would perhaps pen me into one of his dope songs. 'Honky Mutha Fucker in a Saturn' ect.
then the bus began to pull away from me, and I looked wistfully after - in passing it revealed a rainbow in the blue sky behind it.
What a marvelously strange life... consciousness evolves in countless way and plays for billions of year for just such a moment - WHOO-HA indeed sir!

reminds me of me

I've been away awhile - overseas for a few months for work
It seems like I'm on a road to becoming more of an adult these days
I recently got a promotion and a nice raise and moved into a real nice house with my girlfriend and my cat
Of course I'm still bonkers - in a nice whimsical way of course ;)

The newspaper is sitting on the table
and there is an add for a local college
looking up at me
5 young people - 3 women 2 men -
all the races covered...whoa wait a minute! no asians!
they are all smartly dressed - ties and work clothes
good looking
they are all looking directly in the camera - smiling - confident
I guess if I went there I'd be smiling and confident too...
maybe I'd even be in this very same add - smiling confidently at myself
holding my own skull in my hands and pondering
"Just what the hell is going on!"

playing with Dad in the snow

So my Dad died a couple of weeks ago... he was 75. His name was Wilber and he was a gentle loving soul.


I am overwhelmed with gratitude at having him for a Dad. He laughed and cried easily... he put his arm around every person who came through his door and asked em if they wanted something to eat. He lived a good life, worked hard, and loved open and freely. He left my Mom behind, his wife of 53+ years.
When I went with my mom & sister to see my Dads body for the last time (he had donated his body to science, so it wasn't at the funeral) he was just laying there as if asleep... I put my hand over his heart and kissed his forhead... told him I loved him as I had many times before....it was really hard and tore my heart wide open to see my mother kiss him for the last time. She was sobbing "Ohhh I loved you so much!" I wept openly...
everything is very simple and very very transient.
My mother said to me later in disbelief "It all went by so fast."

and I guess that what struck me the clearist in all of this - in that it all happens pretty fast and we all die... so be free... enjoy the ride... laugh and cry and all that new age BS - death claims it all back in the end anyway - so why not spend every fucking last bit of yer heart?!!!

Pumpkin pie

There is a pumpkin patch growing wild
I can see it from my window.

I know that sooner or later
there will be the noise and the gasoline
mingling with
the smell of grass and pumpkins being torn apart

perhaps someday I shall be able to buy such an aroma
from a very pretty but awkward girl over a glass counter
$89.99 for .75 ozs

and perhaps the pumpkin destroyer will come and kiss
the back of the awkward pretty girls hand
and passion and glass will break...

that aroma will sell for at least 119.99

and how come its always the small simple things
that break your heart.

Scientists have discovered...

that drinking beer while petting a cat is good for you! Though further tests achieved some 6 billion variations of results, most were generaly found to be positive.
In other news scientists were also said to have finally figured out the meaning of life. But just before a sceduled press conference the therem was retested and found to no longer hold true.

Thinking things should be different..... is a kinda Hell.

I had been drifting for awhile... and I don't rightly know how long of awhile that it has been - it had seemed quite a long while, but then it all became so goddamn enjoyable that I kinda lost track of time - then suddenly something in me was ripped clean out and off - like kinda hazy cotton gauze. And then I am suddenly more lucid and clear than I have ever been. I look up at the night sky and it is as if I could breathe all the crisp blackness right on in... and It all just kept rushing in... so refreshing and deep. soooo simple.
I smile and wonder.... how it all feels, and am quietly blown away & amazed by the echo.
I look and everything is this kind of seeing that finds nothing but an endless movement - it is a movement that becomes a stasis - a resonance - a gong sounding that is in fact its own ear - of course there is no way to explain this or put this into words. just more silly drunken laughter...
It is as it always is - how could anything be any diferent?